I am sorry. . but can you just step back a bit?

I think I find clarity in blogging to be honest. I dont expect a huge blog following or anyone to read any of what I have to say. A lot of these blogs are for me to vent. So I do just that. I vent. Thank god for blogs. You vent. Its perfect.

For the past few weeks now I have suffered from a lack of will to sleep. I blame the fact that my day consists of nothing but picking up the baby and going to shows. What a life. Even my job involves me going to a show. Im not complaining, dont get me wrong, i love my effing life. I just need to break this repetitive lifestyle I have set up for myself. Onto a lighter subject.

I read a little thing today from a fellow "fan" who understands about how everyone thinks its hip (hip as AA hoodies) to say the words " IM WITH THE BAND." Its not that it bugs me a lot because half the time I hear this I dont think anything of it. Yet sometimes when you drag in bands that I actually know, I sit there and laugh, sometimes even in your face. I learned the hard way not to talk to people about who I know because YES in your eyes I am still a fan. In fact in my own eyes, yes I am a fan. Sometimes I get put on guest list sometimes I don't, either way I will be as close as I possibly can so i can get the full on feel of the show. I have done the whole side stage deal. Its not for me. Yet i dont think its smart for anyone who knows a band or "claims" to know a band to talk about it like its just the thing to do . Sure be proud of your band, but dont be 13 and screaming at the top of your lungs "OH MY GOD SHAWN HARRIS I WANT TO FUCK YOU IN THE *beep*" you know what I mean? SO basically what Im trying to get at is just because Pete Wentz talks to you for a split second, doesnt mean he's your best friend. Just because Gerard Way pointed toward your direction (probably not even AT you) doesnt mean he wants you to tell half the godamn fan club you and him are besties and going for sundays on tuesday at the Mc Donalds across the street from YOUR venue. . Chances are 1. He doesn't know you aside from you being a fan 2. He doesn't know you period. . . so drop the lame I want to be considered cool act. . ITS MUSIC not a popularity contest. We go to shows to escape these damn facades of life not to re create them in a different, less hypocritical setting. We are suppose to be all about the music, all about the fun and high of the game. . Thats just it . its all a game. Another popularity contest of who can go to the most shows and get the most bands to remember their face. Some of us are SO high school while others act like their in high school . . . Act your age kids . . and that doesnt involve anything i previously quoted. Grow up. Like Panic! at the disco.

Another thing I and bands cant stand is the constant need to confess this baby drama. Its a little annoying to be in the pit of one of your favorite bands and then hear a screech from a far screaming " GABRIEL! I WANT YOUR BABIES! I LOOOOOVVVEE YOU!" Now thats both funny and disturbing. Why would you want Gabe Saporta's fur children? thats just down right dumb. The man doesnt know you nor does he believe your Jane Fonda knock off in bright neon green tights with your prepubescent body is the shit. . . so drop the jane fonda shit girls. . its not fitting. . your era.

Anyways . . On with it right. Tomorrow Imma go see This Is Hell .. Check em out will ya? their awesome. . Put on a damn good show.

myspace.com/thisishell ( i believe that is the myspace)

This blog is going to be put up to a great test in March. . . Ive got a lot of drama filled shows coming and I get to see my BFF on the 11th. . I cant wait. . I miss him. . . tho i just spend an entire week with his ass



STAY SEXY