Wreck Your Life

I have just a couple issues I need to address that bug me. . and choosing that i vent on the internet more than the average person would expect from me. . Im doing it. . and you cant stop me! ha ha ha. .

I'd like to think last night was both the BEST and WORST night of my life . Its a twofer . . is that how they spell it? TWOFER! yea. . sure. .anyways. . Last night I saw Panic! At The Disco for the first time since December of 2006. It just had to be Kimmel, right ha ha. Anyways. My joy for seeing those boys showed in the tapes of statues as Irene, Corrine and I danced our little asses off. . We created dance moves that made television and apparently little Ryan smile ( i wanted to rhyme that but it didnt work out). . . Anyways. So we scared Ryan a couple times but you have to admit seeing the light shine in Brendon's face due to 3 little girls screaming " FUCKING SLUT!" was the best present you can give to your baby. Tho in the past I have called Panic! my babies because i have seen them grow as a band they are now my toddler. . . they are SO GROWN UP NOW! . . brings tears to my eyes. . tbh.

I actually refuse to comment on what else happened last night because it will upset me more than I really should be at the moment. Lets just say friends need to get off jonas brothers NUTS and take care of other friends. . oh and. . my car . . ha ha. . needs to be repaired. .ONCE AGAIN!. gosh. . i feel so bad for my car. . its had the body work done on it 3 times already. . so sad.

Another issue i need to address is a friend who shall not be named. . but she has a problem and needs help .. . . maybe some help on how to be a friend. . i dont know. . but leaving another friend out in the cold . is not the business. . so all i have to say to her is GROW THE FUCK UP! and stop looking just as CRAZY as the 12 year old fans that are attracted to those shits. .

PEACE OUT! NOOKAS!


Tomorrow I LEAVE!

Give It A Name

GENTLE FINGERS FOR THE CONSTANT BELIEVERS

i sit in this empty lobby full of body less souls
its packed in here like a sardine can
oh what a salty soul

Her breath is like silver
Her eyes are like gold
but once they go cold
she will roam with no home

The receptionist will check her messages
sneeze into a tissue
hold the phone to her ear
as she says
Hello Misses . .


Can i help you with something?
he will ask her in desperation
Oh no .. I am meeting someone
she replies with no interest

The room will go quiet
distant coughs and vibrating phones
foot steps of thunder
but i dont hear a sound

they take me in the back
a secret I shall never reveal
I remember his face
so subtle and still
he cheeked out a smile
i refused to acknowledge
his name was plastered
on his handsome yet disciplined face
i loved as a child

I sit here alone
the bodies are dead
as they wait for their loved ones
alone and scared to death
be calm she screams
the surgery went fine
shes going to get her own room
doped on vicadin , novacane and lies

She will go home
She will go home
She will go home
red lights flash
home.

Be sure to check back from time to time these next couple of weeks. . I know I never keep my word in writing on tour. . but thats because I can never get internet service. . . but i do write random things . . so just check in leave me a few comments. . and maybe I'll send you a picture of the band you most likely love. .

ha ha

<3 Jewlie

I am sorry. . but can you just step back a bit?

I think I find clarity in blogging to be honest. I dont expect a huge blog following or anyone to read any of what I have to say. A lot of these blogs are for me to vent. So I do just that. I vent. Thank god for blogs. You vent. Its perfect.

For the past few weeks now I have suffered from a lack of will to sleep. I blame the fact that my day consists of nothing but picking up the baby and going to shows. What a life. Even my job involves me going to a show. Im not complaining, dont get me wrong, i love my effing life. I just need to break this repetitive lifestyle I have set up for myself. Onto a lighter subject.

I read a little thing today from a fellow "fan" who understands about how everyone thinks its hip (hip as AA hoodies) to say the words " IM WITH THE BAND." Its not that it bugs me a lot because half the time I hear this I dont think anything of it. Yet sometimes when you drag in bands that I actually know, I sit there and laugh, sometimes even in your face. I learned the hard way not to talk to people about who I know because YES in your eyes I am still a fan. In fact in my own eyes, yes I am a fan. Sometimes I get put on guest list sometimes I don't, either way I will be as close as I possibly can so i can get the full on feel of the show. I have done the whole side stage deal. Its not for me. Yet i dont think its smart for anyone who knows a band or "claims" to know a band to talk about it like its just the thing to do . Sure be proud of your band, but dont be 13 and screaming at the top of your lungs "OH MY GOD SHAWN HARRIS I WANT TO FUCK YOU IN THE *beep*" you know what I mean? SO basically what Im trying to get at is just because Pete Wentz talks to you for a split second, doesnt mean he's your best friend. Just because Gerard Way pointed toward your direction (probably not even AT you) doesnt mean he wants you to tell half the godamn fan club you and him are besties and going for sundays on tuesday at the Mc Donalds across the street from YOUR venue. . Chances are 1. He doesn't know you aside from you being a fan 2. He doesn't know you period. . . so drop the lame I want to be considered cool act. . ITS MUSIC not a popularity contest. We go to shows to escape these damn facades of life not to re create them in a different, less hypocritical setting. We are suppose to be all about the music, all about the fun and high of the game. . Thats just it . its all a game. Another popularity contest of who can go to the most shows and get the most bands to remember their face. Some of us are SO high school while others act like their in high school . . . Act your age kids . . and that doesnt involve anything i previously quoted. Grow up. Like Panic! at the disco.

Another thing I and bands cant stand is the constant need to confess this baby drama. Its a little annoying to be in the pit of one of your favorite bands and then hear a screech from a far screaming " GABRIEL! I WANT YOUR BABIES! I LOOOOOVVVEE YOU!" Now thats both funny and disturbing. Why would you want Gabe Saporta's fur children? thats just down right dumb. The man doesnt know you nor does he believe your Jane Fonda knock off in bright neon green tights with your prepubescent body is the shit. . . so drop the jane fonda shit girls. . its not fitting. . your era.

Anyways . . On with it right. Tomorrow Imma go see This Is Hell .. Check em out will ya? their awesome. . Put on a damn good show.

myspace.com/thisishell ( i believe that is the myspace)

This blog is going to be put up to a great test in March. . . Ive got a lot of drama filled shows coming and I get to see my BFF on the 11th. . I cant wait. . I miss him. . . tho i just spend an entire week with his ass



STAY SEXY

A really bad breakup can make you love again

I pretty much spent the better part of the evening binging on old Internet sites and un funny videos trying to cope what was ment to be. 

John Mayer's music is good therapy . He's gotten me through some pretty bad break ups, rejection, fights all that jazz that occured in my ever so famous past. I guess I have this theory that he's got to be one of the greatest lovers out there to come up with this shit. So whenever I feel shitty about a guy I just pop in some godamn John Mayer and think about the sex, love and turmoil within that voice. That voice alone, godamn. Yet I have done my research through the past years and have found it relatively funny that the man who I perceive as the "Perfect" man is actually a douche bag who loves to many godamn women and cant sit still. Who wouldn't ? Yer fucking JOHN MAYER for christ sake, Id be a fucking douche bag as well.  Anyways. This persona I built up in my head pops up in every man I have tried to pursue and more and more I start to think that I am trying to find this man . . this fucking persona here that I have made up in my head. Alot of times they either have really curly fucking hair, eyebrows like a maniac or look just as raunchy as a Mr. Pj. This man he has been popping up recently. I have had 3 encounters with him and I die each and everytime. I guess I blame John Mayer for making me think that a fantasy character that I made up in my head who plays Your Body Is A Wonderland acoustic for me in sheets of white with nothing but his voice and guitar is real. Fuck it, he's real. He's going to play me that godamn song one day. As i sit there looking at him with love struck eyes as he strums his guitar and i study his fingers. Hes going to be wrapped in my sheets with love in his voice. One day. One day. You will stop hurting me, just sing the fucking song.